Priestess Dynamics

Holding supportive space in group dynamics

This page is written to assist you with understanding the role you are about to step into has a lot of psychological and physiological dynamics which go with it. When we choose a role of leadership and guidance, whether we consciously agree to or not, we open up a space where projections, transference and countertransference can occur. As Priestess and Practitioners you are not expected to act as someone’s therapist in a psychological sense - however a basic understanding of how holding space works physiologically can help us understand what is occurring in our space and alchemise that through calling in meditations, synchronising or alchemising breath, or simply clearing the space for ourselves so we can be very clear with others and within our Selves what role and guidance we are providing for women, and what may be beyond the reach of our personal limitations and desires to hold. In this instance one of the most beautiful ways we can diffuse a situation for another woman who may be in more need of support than she is aware of, or who may unconsciously be holding feelings or judgement or shame around receiving more assistance (many people feel that bodywork, massage, somatics, and therapy is only of benefit if there is something “wrong”) is to be very conscientious of your resources.
You are always welcome to escalate questions and situations to you Priestess team leaders, practitioners, or myself (Eva). You are always welcome to be honest with a woman and say you will need to look up the answer to a question, or suggest to her gently that the resources page, or a private 1:1 with myself or another trained professional you know, could be of more assistance to her. You do not need to hold, or attempt to hold something you feel uncomfortable unqualified to - indeed it is imperative in this role that you understand your limitations and healthy boundaries so that you are not overburdened by the assumption of responsibility which is a breeding ground for codependent and dramatic/traumatic behaviours and responses.

The main purpose of this page however is not psycho-therapeutic dynamics, but rather lends itself to the topics of Spleen, Lung, and Self Care in regards to understanding and regulating how holding space affects our somatic field and our physical capacity! Holding space, grounding, and supporting women through their journey is the role, in many ways, of the Spleen. It is the vibratory centre of our field where our cellular vibration and stillness generates a resonant field for other’s to centre themselves, and feel a healthy balance and holding of energetically clear space, between Heaven & Earth. This is why it is important that when we guide women in circles, we aren’t trying to “process” too much with them, and we understand how to gently pull them out of any spaces where they may simply be muddying waters, or disconnecting from the presence and the energy of the group - and coming back to more creative solutions where we are resources places in our practice which we could come back to, or places inside of the body we can come back to, in order to maintain balance and emotional progress in our practice. An example of this is nicely laid out in Peter Levine’s somatic experiencing work, where he uses the word “resourcing” within the body to mean coming back to a familiar frame of reference as a holding space to compare our growth to. Some examples of holding this space for a woman who is having difficulty in her personal process one week are these:
If a woman is feeling lost or overwhelmed, ask her:
1. When her last practice was?
11. How she felt during and after her last practice?
111. When was the last time she felt a balanced state she wishes to return to?
1v. When was the last organ meditation and form of meditation - full practice, short videos, lying in bed with an audio transmission on - that supported her to feel this way? Give permission for this to be her form of practice until she feels ready for something else.
You can then remind her of something you have seen or recalled on her journey which was positive, or reference a time she felt grounded, balanced, supported, and resourceful as a support for other women.

The magic of sisterhood circles is that usually a form of insecurity or balance that one woman is bringing reflects a larger need from the group to express that uncertainty. Unless you feel specifically the need to be firm with someone who has a pattern of falling into despair, and you want to (with generous compassionate fierceness) express that her pattern of this is not serving her reality of beauty - it is important that we encourage women to continue their growth and their self-regulation and practice in a way which feels encouraging and supportive. Another way to do this is to reference or resource a time from your own experience in which you struggled - letting her know it is relatable, understandable, permissible, and forgivable. The point is to continue to come back to ourselves, always - and to resource those tools, people, practices, and spaces which allow for us to do so.

working with your own energy regulation as a way to regulate the group

When we are working with group energy regulation, your self care is your first support, before you go on to seek other women as supportive sisters for our endeavours (which is covered in the recorded module 11 call). Similar to how the Spleen or the Earth supports our body - our templates and resources of grounding support our holding circle. When you first begin holding space you may have a series of different energetic reactions to people gathering in your space. As you prepare your Temple/Ritual/Circle space, you may feel anxiety, you may feel elation and beauty, you may feel foggy and unclear - any of these are natural responses to an influx of energy in your physiological and energetic field. Your nervous system will be picking up on and processing the women who are arriving, and this can be a very pleasurable, or a considerably difficult experience. The important thing is to be as present and self loving as possible in this space. It helps greatly to make sure you have a timetable or introductory circle template with a list and a timeline and question prompts on it, as I have provided for Introductory Talks & Jade Egg Talks because when we are working with new energies and acclimitising to leadership within our somatic field - we can often find our mind and upper cortical activity switching off. We can switch into a much more present Heart & Lung space - really circulating our Spleen/Earth field through the group and wanting to stay in a very silent and beautiful shared space - and yet people have also arrived to experience the content. The “Projecting your Voice” video can tell you more about how to maintain that space of shared energy in the body while using your voice - and it is completely possible to maintain a ceremonial and deeply somatic space while delivering meditation and content. The concept is to speak from a space of body knowing and stay within your own knowing and transmission, so that women are, through your somatic experience, given permission to stay within theirs.

I encourage you to keep a journal - or write upon the Facebook group elements of your journey - and report them on the fortnightly call so that you are clear when teaching and training and leading others and yourself (in the future) what that journey looked like for you. Were you nervous? Did you feel more grounded and solid in a space of leadership? Did you feel more articulate and powerful, and seen? Or did you feel nervous, and shy, and struggle to feel stable, grounded, or even speak clearly? How did this/does this and will this change over time? Remember that it does. Remember that it is all a process of supporting your integration and your expanding capacity for energy and containment in a position of guidance and leadership - and try to keep tabs on what really works for you in this space.

I would like to offer examples from my own experience here; for myself, I used to book travel for the evening of, or the day after I would host large workshops or retreats. I found this to be an untenable solution - not only did it deeply destabilise my own integration process, but it would actually destabilise the nervous system of the group which remains connected for some time after a gathering. I have found the time after the gathering where women continue to be resourcing from one another’s fields - a sort of “half-life” if you will - to be about half to 3/4th of the amount of time spent together. I now spend at least 4-5 days coming down from any large gathering or retreat - and module this depending on the intensity of the energetic field of the retreat (internal work and Level 2 & 3 differs greatly from a Level 1 retreat). Post retreats I now offer all women a optional hammam or massage experience so that there is a stepping stone to a self-care and self-paid (not provided in the costs) experience which can bridge the togetherness of the retreat with the post-retreat experience. I mention to women that it is advisable to fly out a day or two later, if possible, and I plan a few dinners or moments of contact so that the separation of energies and integration can at very least be spoken to and considered, even if a woman does find herself needing to leave that very evening, or to go the airport straight from a session or retreat. For myself, I tend to fly business class if I need to fly after an event without space to come down - and I always receive a massage or hammam (ideally something with water) after long sessions. In my day to day life and clinic I ensure that once a month I have a self care day which is dedicated only to my pampering and receiving treatments and relaxing.

Birth and bodyworkers can also relay or tell you that even after a birth, or a session, there is the need to come down from the experience, which is initially a high or a beautiful feeling, and can actually slowly move into a feeling of heaviness (not negative, but rather a call for resting and integrating) - or can invigorate and propel you into a state of desiring more movement in order to process this energy through. I myself often find that I am very sexually alive and awake after a birth and a Level 2 retreat, and I feel deeply invigorated and full after full days (6-9 hours) of bodywork.

It is up to you to decide and work with what feels like a beautiful ritual for you as you step into leadership and how you will process the additional energy in your body. It is important to also notice how the energy affects your menstrual cycle. Holding circles can change the heaviness and intensity of your menstrual cycle as well, and this is another good element of awareness to have; cyclictic awareness. From my own experience, after a retreat or series of classes in person, my period will be heavy and strong, often pleasurable, but I will usually need to use my jade egg to encourage the endometrium and energy to leave thoroughly in the first two days. This is usually accompanied by personal messages from women saying that their period was very bright, or flowing, or that they didn’t experience cramping, moodiness, heaviness or distress - if that was common for them. When we choose to hold space, we begin to alchemise energy through our polarity, and it is up to us to regulate that experience and allow any “shit” we receive to turn to flowers. We are choosing to open our capacity to receive and alchemise more through our system, and as a result, reap those benefits for our own Self in our own spiritual growth. It is important that we understand how this is affecting us - and stay more attuned to ourselves during this process. This, in turn, is what allows us to develop the capacity to deeply see, witness, and understand where other's may be experiencing blockages - and it allows us to experience a wide and vast array of different women’s energetic experiences, which we can resource as space holders to give more advice, the more time we allow ourselves to witness and learn what is present in our own experience.

If you are not able to fully take care of yourself, and be present for, take responsibility for, and witness what is present for you in a position of guidance, it is imperative to ask for help, or to try to minimize the amount of space you are holding for others until you feel strong enough and safe enough to be in a position to hold that space for others. Destabilisation of your field can be detrimental to others, specifically those with a history of trauma, and it will definitely not be an ideal situation for you.